An Open Letter to my Husband, the Founder of Project 1615.

It's been 15 years since Baron first began his work with Project 1615. It was one giant leap of faith into the unknown which took a ton of grit to start from scratch but even more to spend the better part of the last 15 years venturing into the underground, living a life of clandestine work, completely denying yourself the ability to openly and publicly tell your story. I never really knew the true sacrifice it would require to completely lay your life aside for another, to venture off into some of the most dangerous parts of the world, in the hopes of making Jesus known to a people in Central Asia. Baron was aware when he took on his assignment and call with 1615; it was never about him. Although I am sure neither of us were fully conscious of the sacrifices we were embarking on to take the Gospel to this part of the world. Who truly ever is? But, undeterred by the costs, he has given the last 15 years of his life (literally) to this amazing organization.

I am writing this, not because he is my husband, but truthfully I respect who he is and who he has become as a person as he has endeavored to follow the heart and call of God. Being by his side at 1615 as he walked his journey, I myself have learned faith for my own life, call & path. He stretched this small town Tennessee girl to her max. He was exactly what I needed and God wanted. He has been a true servant of God that has spent the greater part of his life in some of the most dyer of circumstances and most destitute places of the world freely giving the Gospel to a people who would have otherwise never have known. Without hesitation he went into the world of the underground church, preaching, teaching, planting churches, printing books and producing the first bible of a nation of 30 million people; all while governments hunted and worked every angel to squash the underground church. I am writing this letter because I so respect and honor him, his call and the last 15 years he sacrificed to serve the purpose of God through Project 1615.

The last four years have been some of the most challenging, pain filled, exhilarating, but also self reflecting and enjoyable years of our life. I don't regret nor do I hide in shame from these years, Pain along our journey can make us, if we allow it, stronger. God used the last 4 years to mold us into the people, couple, individuals that he needed us to be in order for us to come along with Him into the next phase of His grand plan for our life. The hardness of the last 4 years has defined us, it's molded us, it's changed us in so many significant ways. It has made us who we are now and I can say I am so tremendously grateful for this season. I am grateful that the process has made us stronger. Our pain truly has become our power.

At the end of this year, we embark on a new phase of life and ministry. We will close the doors to Project 1615. What an emotional few days we've had around here, mourning the loss of an organization that has touched so many lives, even our own, in so many ways. It's God's request, and so, in typical fashion with such bold faith, Baron says "yes...o.k. I will do what you require," even though it's not been an easy choice on his part. In fact, he has been fighting this voice for the last few months telling him, "Baron you have to let the dream die."  

Sixteen15 has fulfilled it's time. One of the most difficult things for a leader to recognize is that not all things are eternal, some things ordained by God have a specific life span attached. They were birthed for a specific purpose and moment in time. Sixteen15 fulfilled that purpose. It was birthed for that specific time. If we keep holding onto something that was birthed for seasons and times, we create monuments instead of living and breathing organisms that grow and change as He changes. Oh the monuments humanity has created for itself for fear of letting go...for fear of not moving forward and letting the dream die. He always has more, but we can't get to the more until we let go. I have thought so many times of the story of Abraham and Issac, where God gave him the seed he promised so long ago to only subsequently request for Abraham to give Isaac back...to sacrafice and let his dream die that he believed in, cried over, expressed faith to receive.

So I honor my husband for doing the very toughest of tasks, a new step that requires a new level of faith and commitment in allowing the dream to die. I am so proud to be your wife, to have followed you to over 30 countries preaching the Gospel all under the framework of this magnificent organization called Project 1615, Inc. I am tremendously humbled to have been along for this grand life. To you, Project 1615, as I sit here writing this letter I have so many deep emotions for you. I hope you fully understand as you prepare to end, the deep sacrifice my husband gave for you: the years of never being able to tell who he is or what he does, the hardness of living a life completely underground, that crazy parasite that threw everything off for him for many years to come. I, for a season, was a bit miffed at you for those hard things. But, I can't help but to be so thankful to you as well. Because of you, I've learned faith. Because of you, I have had the opportunity to touch various cultures and people groups all around the world. It changed me to my core. I am forever grateful to the husband who had the courage to begin those 15 years ago and an organization that created a platform for the Gospel message going out into the nations of Central Asia. You, 1615, created a bible for a nation. We salute you. We give you back to God and we honor your life.

In memory of Project 1615, Inc. August 22, 2002 - December 31, 2017.

“Forget about what’s happened, don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present, I am about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out, don’t you see it? There it is. I am making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.”

— Isaiah 43: 18-19

“Listen carefully: unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds onto life just as it is, destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you will have it forever, real and eternal.”

— John 12: 24-25

Two Steps Back...One Giant Leap Forward

To say I am passionate about numbers is an understatement. I was hooked from that very first accounting class my junior year of high school. I knew even then I had a gift, a calling and an ultimate destiny as a CPA. Sounds nerdy huh? True, it's not for everyone but for me it was part of my DNA.

That accounting class ignited a passion within me that provided the fuel I needed to begin the long journey ahead. After completing my masters degree in accounting, I landed my first big career job. I worked in the corporate tax department of one of the largest public accounting firms in the world. I was captivated and embraced the opportunity, becoming a quick study working with major mega corporations located in multi-states, multiple entities with multiple tax planning, consulting and filing issues and requirements.  The opportunities with my new company were endless with the possibility to have a very lucrative career and ultimately the chance to work on the foreign field. Yes, it was win win in my book. However, God had other plans.

As I began to flourish in my new job, I found myself with a lot of internal struggle. That struggle was soon to intensify as my husband's missions dreams started becoming more of a reality. What I haven't said, and don't have a lot of time to detail out in this blog is, there was also a very real passion in me to not only pursue God but to help my husband follow his call with his work in missions. My life long pursuit for my career and my devotion to God and my husband set me up for a real opportunity to put my faith in action and introduced me to the struggle and the sacrifice it would require.

My first big opportunity to put my faith in action, and seemingly take a back seat with my desires, came with leaving my dream job to move across the country to begin our first missions organization. Not only is starting an organization from scratch a big step of faith but the possibility of leaving my first big career opportunity with no clue about what lies ahead was as well. I have found with each step of faith I took along my journey, it initially felt like I was taking steps backward. Practically speaking, it seemed like a downward spiral for several years and it began with that move.

I did secure a new position with a local public accounting firm that specialized in nonprofit work and, as well, had a large client base in small businesses. Though it was not where I expected to be, it turned out to be another master stroke in God's ultimate plan. A couple of WOW moments that happened as a result...1) I had no idea how working in this niche and learning this area would catapult me into the position I am in now and be the backbone of my current firm,... and 2) I struggled with my initial decision to work at this firm because financially it set me back to where I first began in my career. How could that ever be God right? Ha! I have found that God is so much more about adding character and experiences than he ever is about the bottom line. A very difficult thing to understand at first for a "bottom line" kind of girl, but this was only the beginning.

The real test for me was soon to come. After a few years working with this public accounting firm (please understand that all along this desire was in me to help my husband pursue his calling in missions), God spoke to me to make the ultimate sacrifice. Now there were a lot of other things playing out in the background with the missions side of our life (too much to tell here)....but God spoke to me to walk away from my career to fully put my attention on helping my husband build his mission, his nonprofit, his call, God's call on him. I remember walking away from that job to absolutely zero salary and zero clients (well only one, our own nonprofit). I was scared, deflated but also a wee bit excited at the prospect of being with my husband, traveling the world, and experiencing God together on this next journey. However, it took me about a week to get off the sofa after I left my career. Ya know, I just needed a moment to mourn. However, I quickly picked myself up and stepped into building the finance and accounting department of our own nonprofit and traveling across the globe helping manage projects, teams, build churches, schools and preach the Gospel alongside my husband. The experiences, the people met, the hardships endured and the progress made is something I will never forgot. 

I have loved every moment of our missions work. It has been exhilarating, difficult, adventurous and amazing, but the desire for my CPA work always lay deep inside me. While it may have been on life support it never really truly died. I never forgot it but I was always willing to let it go for good, if God required.  I was always heavily involved in our own nonprofit finances, but along the way, I also found myself fielding more and more questions from various businesses, nonprofits and individuals all along our travels, mostly of which were donated services. But I still could not let myself go there as I felt that during that season of our life I was to give myself completely to our mission.

As time progressed, the season changed, and God began leading me to start my own public accounting firm; a firm that would create a revenue stream for us personally but also help resource our nonprofits. This firm was the ultimate unify-er of my passions. I no longer had to chose, God chose it for me. I would never have initiated this new endeavor on my own without first stepping away from my career and giving myself to the mission several years back. I learned, in walking that season out with my husband, about faith, strength, and ultimate courage. I understood more than I had ever known in my life what faith feels like, smells like and looks like. I experienced God in those villages of Central Asia. I knew from that experience, if I could do that and God could supply that way...then I could certainly start my own company. 

Five years ago, I began my firm and never could I have ever imagined it would develop into what it has become. In God's prescribed path for us, the steps He leads us in, things are always right on time. My company is God's doing and not my own. He initiated it after seasons of pruning me and building faith and character in me. Looking back along my path, walking completely away from my career to pursue Him were some tough steps... but there is History to follow. One of the many true stories from the Bible I always took courage in was the story of Abraham and Issac. Talk about sacrifice...after years of longing for a child, God asked Abraham to sacrifice him only to say stop. I just wanted to know if you were willing? I gave him to you and I never really wanted you to give him back...I just needed to know I had your heart.  So there is precedent...and there are so many people just like this, same requirement, same sacrifice, same faith, albeit different journeys. Now, with confidence I can definitely say, I know, and God knows, He definitely has my heart, my career and my life.

Our Run for the White House

Ok, well we didn't actually run for the presidency but, as big as this step was for these small town kids, I guess it felt at times like we were. Maybe it helped condition us for a life of "being in way over our heads."

Immediately after graduating college, my husband was accepted to an internship program working for the Clinton administration at the White House in Washington, D.C.

Being yesterday was such a big memorial day with the anniversary of 9/11, I began to think back on our early days living in Washington. Seeing the pictures cycle again on the news of all the people who lost their lives and the capture of the twin towers falling....you can't help to go back and remember the feelings that you felt then. I also remember being so grateful for President Bush and the heartfelt compassion he displayed in attempting to calm the nation on that fearful day. 

I started going through some old pictures of our time at the White House and time in D.C. and thought I would share the story of another incredible step in our journey of life and faith.

My husband is an absolutely phenomenal writer...he doesn't think so but he is. From his writings regarding our missionary journeys to his public speaking events...I believe you would agree as well. He graduated from our undergrad program with a double major in public relations and journalism. He wrote countless editorial pieces for our college newspaper. A couple of months prior to graduating we became aware of an opportunity to apply for a White House internship. We applied, submitted his portfolio and began the process of security clearance. A few weeks prior to graduating we heard the news he was accepted and that we would be making our way to Washington, D.C. in a month! Yikes. Here we go again.....

Was I scared? horrified? petrified? You bet! But if there is anything I know deep within....it is you have to push past fear to get the most out of life. When you do that you gain a greater awareness of what's really good and a deeper understanding of everything by pushing through the challenges, faith leaps, frustration, pain and the hardness to find extraordinary joy in each new adventure. Do we want to live a life outside of our comfort zone? I honestly believe most of us do, but most are also too afraid of what that journey holds to take those steps. You really have to depend on the Greater One inside. Faith...it's how dreams are built and life is explored. People want the experience without the faith, without the challenges and without the frustration. But the journey of life and faith can't be understood without the obstacles we face along the way. If steps of faith were not challenged then what would we really learn? Every step of faith we have ever taken in the last 26 years of our life, we have looked back to see God's hand in the middle of it all along the way.

There were many things about our time in D.C. that were extraordinary, like the time I stepped into the West Wing with B for the first time to catch a glimpse of the oval office (visitors don't get to see this) or talk to a colleague of my husbands that was so full of patriotism and belief for what they are doing. There were also many times of discouragement that we went through along that journey as well. We had just graduated college and were moving to the first large city we had ever lived in but had no idea where we would stay. It took a few weeks to find a place. Of course it all worked out, but living with roommates, the hour and a half commute, learning how to navigate all the stresses of such an overwhelming environment...it was a difficult time. I had almost lost my sanity with just trying to get through my undergraduate program. I was so relentless with keeping my grades up and paying for school that it wasn't until I graduated that I realized I had pushed myself too much.

The times I remember the most are our train rides to and from our work in D.C. My husband would talk about his day. He would talk about walking through the halls of the West Wing and the political figure he would encounter that day. He was placed in the office of presidential correspondence which would require him to correspond and write letters to foreign officials, heads of state, dignitaries and famous actors and actresses. It was called M.I. (more important) mail. Of course, it went through a rigorous review process before the president signed it, but he was one of the writers that initiated those types of responses. Each train ride would hold a different story of the day but it wasn't always about the White House as you never really knew what kind of scenario would come about from a routine train ride out of the beltway (i.e. bomb threats, etc).

However, out of all those conversations from those days, the ones that stand out are the times he would talk about the passion, sense of purpose and patriotism of those White House staff members. I am not sure your party affiliation and honestly to me it doesn't really matter. I do, however, know that this girl is very grateful to call this nation my home. Because of those conversations and experience early on....getting to know people who don't really think the same as me (at least politically) and seeing their passion shine through... to now getting to go into some of the most hostile places of the world that currently have no freedom at all, we understand very well what this nation represents and we are grateful. We are grateful to call it home but we are also grateful to have the freedom to leave and explore. We have the freedom to travel, to work toward our dreams, to explore our faith, live without limits, break out into new adventures and GO do something big. And because of our freedom, we each have the possibility to do meaningful things that could even CHANGE OUR WORLD! Let's never pass up the opportunities which could lead us to do just that. I never regretted the daring plunge of faith into the unknown and neither will you. The Greater One was and is always there with us. Jump! Face down fear, GO and do something amazing with your life! Dare to live the adventure...dream the dream! We did, and I am amazed where we have been and what God has done.

Here we GO!

Me & my boy in St. Petersburg, Russia.

My husband and I have always been driven. Early on, at the beginning of our 26 year marriage, we moved away from our small town in Tennessee to go to bible school together. Upon graduation we sensed Gods leading for us to go on to college. These steps would wind up being the best and most difficult decisions, but this would ultimately shape us and play a key role in the organizations that we founded and are leading now. 

We began our journey believing that we could accomplish anything with hard work and a do not quit attitude. You can...it just always cost more than you could ever imagine along the way. We had moments of very good highs as well as very significant lows. 

There were a ton of sleepless nights in college, as we were both working full time and taking a full load of classes. We made our way through in a little over 4 years, applying for every scholarship we thought we qualified for and paying for the rest with student loans and our full time jobs. Upon graduating a masters program, we left our college life with both of us having only $19,000 in student loans. Success!! It was an amazing feet as most of our friends were graduating with a minimum of $50,000. But it almost cost me my sanity...more on that later. 

There are lots of highs and lows in this story that I'll eventually get to. But what's so tremendously significant is that we didn't really have any idea how much of a key this season of our life would wind up being until years later as we began developing our first organization...Project 1615. Each step of our life and journey adds to the next step we take. If we don't listen to our heart and the witness of the Holy Spirit and take those steps, even if the cost seems too great, we will not have the tools we need to go to the next step of our life. 

The tools we received in those early days of our life and marriage would initiate a whirlwind of faith steps and activity that would thrust us into over 30 nations over the years, printing books & bibles, inspiring new church plants in Asia, exploring different cultures, helping underprivileged children in Asia gain access to an education, working with underground churches, meeting countless people from all over the United States and touching lives all over the world. 

My husband is an amazing guy. I don't say that just because he's my husband. I say that because of the journey of faith he's taken us on and what he's accomplished by simple obedience, pure raw passion and steps of faith that sometimes made this "rules girl" teeth cringe and hair twist so much that I didn't have any left. Ha. He's lived on the edge of life and faith so many times I have began to lose count. His deep passion for Jesus and the people of Central Asia is so beyond natural. He's resilient, caring, generous and a lot of times doesn't know when to stop and just take care of himself. It's cost him more than we've ever shared, more than we ever thought it would and those things I will also share in the blogs to come. It took 26 years to create this story so it'll take time to open it up. Ha. 

This blog is an open window into our life with our underground missionary efforts, life as an entrepreneur, our personal life together. It's me and I am being vulnerable about relationships and love lost, painful regrets, lessons learned and those awesome moments when you reach that mountain top. All of this has defined who and what we are today. 

We are different, we are seasoned and we are about to embark on the best and most fabulous Next20 years of this amazing life & mission. One.Thankful.Girl.